don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
