How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I think my fart just growled at me.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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