You work out of a Hotel?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
