I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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