You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
