im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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