Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize