I hate your face
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize