it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
