Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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