she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
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