dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
and you fell through a lawn chair
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
