this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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