its not stalking. its research.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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