Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You ruined the universe
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
