I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
