I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
