are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
