I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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