it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
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I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
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When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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