You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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