forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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