Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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