So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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