No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
