Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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