I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
