i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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