I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
