so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
even my farts smell like vagina
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
