Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
