sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
