just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
