youre lurking in front of me
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
