just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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