like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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