the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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