Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
