She said her name was "party"
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
