im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
