look no pants
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
