i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
