Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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