i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
