I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
If that was your dad, he is hot
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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