Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
His nipple licking is glorious
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