As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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