He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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