its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
