I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
