Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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