She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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