I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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