So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
