he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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