my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
