Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
My friends, they love my intelligence
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Everything about him screamed your future.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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