dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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