I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
