Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
