i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I take back everything I said about communal showers
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
