bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Randomize
