Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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